Friday, October 31, 2008

What aint broke needs fixin!

It seems the rebranding bug has caught on to a couple of brands like a zombie infestation and with each design there is the overarching problem with all redesigns, everyone will hate it. And in these cases, they deserve said hatred. So it got me thinking on this day of gore and gloom, how would I redesign a popular logo to make it look like crap? The results may vary.

The New Coke
The pitch: You see, kids these days don't care for words that use normal spelling. That's why we've replaced Coke it Koke. Also, kids love backwards k's, they're always walking around with backward letters saying, "Mommy, this man won't stop staring at my shirt!"

Heath Ledger's Batman: The Dark Nite
The pitch: Let's face it, this isn't Batman, this it Heath Ledger's Batman so we rebranded it for better market tie ins and we used a nice comic font we found that drives home the point that he is the Joker. We also place the title of the movie in its correct location seeing as we felt it too hard to know what movie we were watching, Batman or The Dark Knight? So we made the word Batman significantly larger and we felt it needed a harsher edge, maybe bright red and an impacting font that really says Batman and even some cool eyes! Now people can see the title from across the room! Plus, no one gets that whole knight thing and it's a cheap play on words, we felt it needed an extra punch with "Nite". Also, given the nature of the sequel, it needed to really say reboot and nothing says that better than 2.0, not a 1.1 or a, those are cliché. There, now isn't that a movie you want to see?

The pitch: Okay, when we started we asked ourselves, how can we improve a logo so deeply ingrained in people's minds and needs no further tweaking? The answer; easy! First thing's first, we removed the bite in the apple. Controversial yes, but ask yourself, when's the last time you wanted a half eaten apple? Exactly. Also, we got rid of that bland gray and white color scheme and made it a brilliant green. This lets people know apple is committed to the earth and making this planet a better place to live while have a little fun doing it!

Fed Ex
The pitch: Man, Fed Ex, if ever there was a brand needing a reboot. Listen the whole hidden arrow thing was cool, but it was way too hard for Billy, my son, to see it. So we made it look like, get this, a van! I know! We also removed that garish color combination and made it a fiery red and yellow like the Flash! And if you are still missing that whole arrow thing, look at the new EX and tell me what you see between the e and the x. That's right, a sideways house and what does Fed Ex mainly deliver to? That's right, businesses.

The pitch: Listen, we get it, you people love the swoosh, so we aren't going to even mess with it. However, people don't even know what it is, so we thought outside the box and added three swooshes! Now it could be like a track from tack and field or a claw or like a wave, anything you want! Also, that old font? Booooring, now this font we found on a free font site says it all. If you can say this isn't an improvement, you sir are Hitler.

The pitch: C'mon, did you even look at the new logo? Go ahead, just look at it and drool buddy! We thought the old logo was too boooooring, so we made it in 3D; that's like 3 times the amazing! And we added an arrow so people know, this is a target and the arrow is going right in, it's the place to be! We also added more rings because a target with two rings is pathetically easy to hit, I mean this ups the ante to the extreme! Listen, we could go on, but what's the point, you're happy, we're happy, and the world just gave birth to a beautiful new baby logo!

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