Friday, October 31, 2008

Batman vs. The Zombie King!

Halloween is nearly over and the dead will again be forced to their crypts in congress. It is a sad time for me, no more Ghost Hunters marathons, no reason to buy bags of candy other than being gluttonous, no more fun decorations. So, as I sit and watch Ghost hunters Live, which is as exciting as watching zombie blood dry, my only consolation is drawing a zombie or two...and Batman.


To celebrate this All Hallows Eve, I present this tale of horror. Enter the cake who rips his own fondant and exposes his baked organs!

This is when my wife peers over my tablet and sighs in wonder...or disgust.

What aint broke needs fixin!

It seems the rebranding bug has caught on to a couple of brands like a zombie infestation and with each design there is the overarching problem with all redesigns, everyone will hate it. And in these cases, they deserve said hatred. So it got me thinking on this day of gore and gloom, how would I redesign a popular logo to make it look like crap? The results may vary.

The New Coke
The pitch: You see, kids these days don't care for words that use normal spelling. That's why we've replaced Coke it Koke. Also, kids love backwards k's, they're always walking around with backward letters saying, "Mommy, this man won't stop staring at my shirt!"

Heath Ledger's Batman: The Dark Nite
The pitch: Let's face it, this isn't Batman, this it Heath Ledger's Batman so we rebranded it for better market tie ins and we used a nice comic font we found that drives home the point that he is the Joker. We also place the title of the movie in its correct location seeing as we felt it too hard to know what movie we were watching, Batman or The Dark Knight? So we made the word Batman significantly larger and we felt it needed a harsher edge, maybe bright red and an impacting font that really says Batman and even some cool eyes! Now people can see the title from across the room! Plus, no one gets that whole knight thing and it's a cheap play on words, we felt it needed an extra punch with "Nite". Also, given the nature of the sequel, it needed to really say reboot and nothing says that better than 2.0, not a 1.1 or a, those are cliché. There, now isn't that a movie you want to see?

The pitch: Okay, when we started we asked ourselves, how can we improve a logo so deeply ingrained in people's minds and needs no further tweaking? The answer; easy! First thing's first, we removed the bite in the apple. Controversial yes, but ask yourself, when's the last time you wanted a half eaten apple? Exactly. Also, we got rid of that bland gray and white color scheme and made it a brilliant green. This lets people know apple is committed to the earth and making this planet a better place to live while have a little fun doing it!

Fed Ex
The pitch: Man, Fed Ex, if ever there was a brand needing a reboot. Listen the whole hidden arrow thing was cool, but it was way too hard for Billy, my son, to see it. So we made it look like, get this, a van! I know! We also removed that garish color combination and made it a fiery red and yellow like the Flash! And if you are still missing that whole arrow thing, look at the new EX and tell me what you see between the e and the x. That's right, a sideways house and what does Fed Ex mainly deliver to? That's right, businesses.

The pitch: Listen, we get it, you people love the swoosh, so we aren't going to even mess with it. However, people don't even know what it is, so we thought outside the box and added three swooshes! Now it could be like a track from tack and field or a claw or like a wave, anything you want! Also, that old font? Booooring, now this font we found on a free font site says it all. If you can say this isn't an improvement, you sir are Hitler.

The pitch: C'mon, did you even look at the new logo? Go ahead, just look at it and drool buddy! We thought the old logo was too boooooring, so we made it in 3D; that's like 3 times the amazing! And we added an arrow so people know, this is a target and the arrow is going right in, it's the place to be! We also added more rings because a target with two rings is pathetically easy to hit, I mean this ups the ante to the extreme! Listen, we could go on, but what's the point, you're happy, we're happy, and the world just gave birth to a beautiful new baby logo!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

NM Condition.

When I was just a wee lad, I used to make my own versions of comics. The art then was a mix of Garfield and Superman maturing to my teens with a terrible combination of Rob Liefield and Jim many random lines. Much time has passed since Lil' Monsters #1 (my first comic), but I still randomly make a comic book just for fun. Only now that time is more constrained than the daily ritual of school and Disney's calvacade of addictions, namely Ducktales and Talespin, I only have time to do random covers. Still, it's a good exercise and a waste of an hour while the wife watches her various cake shows.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Birthday for a friend Pt. 2

Being a graphic artist is a lot like being a walking Hallmark, except instead spitting out a 6 dollar card that plays La Bamba, you spit out a more personal card...oh and it takes about 2 hours instead of 30 seconds.

Oh and speaking of birthdays, I got Lou this book from Andy Suriano. This guy is amazing and his art is equally such. And as a bonus to a 120 page hardcover book of pure eye candy, he did this impromptu sketch of Brock Samson and Plastic Man with such ease that it makes me want to drop my tablet and go back to ink and paper.

Seriously, the man is a machine!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The election's getting hot...and heavy.

Sometimes I wonder if people proof banners on websites. Such is the case for this one on nbc's website. They could have probably placed more room between the candidates to make it appear more like a debate and less like a make out session.

Birthday For a Friend

Every year a special event occurs, the birth of my friend Lou. And every year, like a good friend, I forget. Fortunately for me, my new secretary/wife reminds me of such important days and this year I had enough time (one day) to make him a birthday card. So without further type-o's, here it is. Tomorrow I will upload last year's Hulk card, if I can find it.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Halloween Political Signs

Perhaps nothing can aggravate me more than bumper stickers, but lawn signs for political measures surely come in a close second. My disgust is amplified every four years when miniature terrorists go knocking on the doors of suspecting victims demanding candy in exchange for peace from their Power Ranger hijinks. There they must wade through the Californian assortment of signs for politicians and propositions in ghastly colored collaborations screaming their opinion as though someone's mind has ever been changed by a sign on a lawn that doesn't read "For Sale".

So in honor of this Hallows Eve I have created a few signs of my own to place on the lawns of those who wish to shed light on the important measures. Print some of your own up and proudly display your opinion. Click here to see the set.